The Darker Side Of Me
by JJCAL12
Summary: Helga has changed over the summer, not in a good way. She needs help and fast or the Helga her friends know and love may be gone forever. Something a certain someone can't bare see happen.
1. Chapter 1

Helga woke up to blinding light. She sat up, head pounding. "Ugh I hate hangovers." Helga said swinging her legs over the side of her bed, kicking many bottles that used to contian alcohol. She grabbed her pack of cigarettes of her night stand and popped one into her mouth and lit it. She sat there for a minute, just blowing smoke. She decided it was time for her to go to school. First day of her last year in high school.

Helga's summer had made a rough impact on her life. Her parents got divorced, Miriam stayed, Bob's in a hotel somewhere, with Miriam being home Helga had no discipline because Miriam was so stressed that she couldn't try to do anything she'd just get more stressed, then mad, so she's take it out on Helga. Helga eventually fell into the wrong crowds, not getting into trouble for it, she fell deeper in this hole she was digging. When Miriam would get mad Helga would get depressed. She cut, drank, stole, and did drugs.

All of this happened in just as little as 3 months. Helga didn't want help. She didn't care anymore. Her motto is 'What's the point of trying? We all die in the end and we eventually fade away. Why try to be happy when life is just depressing torture?' and that's what keeps her in her hole that's miles deep.

Helga put on her old jeans, torn at the knees and dirty. (Laundry doesn't get done around here that often.) Old white tee and a black hoodie. She slid on the shoes that she stole a couple of months ago. (I needed new shoes, had no money, what else could I have done?)

She grabbed her bag and headed out the door. She didn't want to take the bus today. (I mugged them. They would've driven me straight to the police station!) she walked all the way there. She kept her head down, hood up. (Best thing to do if you don't want to be noticed right?) She opened her locker and threw her stuff into it. 'Books, pencil, ok now I'm ready to go to class. Yay.' she thought. She was first. (If I were to be last everyone would stare. The first person to class is never noticed or cared about.

She sat in the way back of the class. (Best seat.) She kept her head down as her classmates filled the classroom. (No one noticed me. Goal accomplished.) The teacher came in shortly after. After writing something on the board she turned around and walked to Helga. "Excuse me, could you please remove your head and look up at the board?" the teacher said in a sweet, polite voice. 'Now everyone's going to stare. My eyes are red too from last night.' Helga slowly lifted her hands from her lap and pulled back her hood. Her blonde hair spilled around her shoulders. She sat up straight and opened her eyes only a pinch. The teacher seemed satisfied. She walked up to the front of the class and began talking about something Helga couldn't hear over the pounding head and rather didn't care about anyways.

The bell rang (Only making my migrane worse) and everyone left the class except Pheobe. Helga slowly began to pack her things as Pheobe approached her. "Helga! I haven't seen you all summer! How have you been?" Helga sighed, rolling up her sleeves, revealing her cut and muttered "Fine." when Helga finished she began to exit the class. "Helga... what are those on your wrists?" Pheobe said is a worried voice."Nothing Pheebes, I'm fine... it's just from... my cat." Pheobe gave Helga her 'I know you're lying look' "Helga you don't have a cat." Helga glared at Pheobe, she was starting to get on her nerves. "And why are your eyes red?" Pheobe grabbed Helga's shoulders and turned her closer. "Helga... have you been smoking weed? And drinking?!" Helga made an irritated grunt. "It's my body, I can do what I want with it!" Helga said slamming her locker shut. "So with that you decide to abuse it?" Pheobe said grabbing Helga's hand pulling her back as she was walking away.

"Well we better get to class, I don't want to 'abuse' my brain by not educating it anymore than I have now do I?" Helga stomped off in the direction of her next class, leaving Pheobe standing there, not knowing what to do. Her friend was gone.

***Hey! So what do you think? First let's get something straight 1. This is my first T rated story so I'm kind of trying to loosen how I write and 2. No I am not obsessed with making Helga have parental/drug/stealing problems ok? This story was inspired my story A little bird with a broken wing. So I hope you like it!***


	2. Chapter 2

In Helga's next class she sat there, thinking about how her life has turned and started going the opposite direction. She wasn't going to stop though. (Why should I? What am I living for anyways except drugs and alcohol.) The class flew by. 'Only a few classes left. Then I can leave.' she thought.

She wanted to skip her next classes so badly. It was hard dealing with being around people who weren't like her. She wished her gang were here. They all had troubles at home. They all kind of banded together, forming a little misfit group of outsiders. Class after class, lunch finally came (My favorite class).

At lunch she scarfed down as much as she could. Not often was groceries brought home, plus she was still a bit high so she was starving. She was all alone at her table. No one could even figure out who she was, so why would they sit by her.

Meanwhile at the other side of the cafeteria. "Pheobe, why are you crying." Arnold said. Phoebe was a waterfall. Sobbing so hard she could barely breathe. About a minute after Arnold asked his question she had calmed herself down enough to speak. "Hel- Helga... i... is...*sob* doing... dr... dru... drugs. *More sobs* a..and... d- d.. drinking... sh... I thhhhink... she's *sob* stealing... too." Arnold was in shock. Gerald had just arrived at the lunch table when Arnold stood up and began to walk towards Helga. "Hey my man... hey where are you going?" Gerald said. Arnold ignored him and kept walking.

Shortly after he approached Helga. She looked up at him with her now grey eyes. 'Her eyes used to be so lively, so beautiful... now they're just... pale blue. Like a cloudy sky.' Arnold thought. He sat himself in front of her at the table. His eyes were closed, head down. He sighed. "Is it true?" he asked. His voice was deep and full a sadness and anger. A chill went down Helga's spine. He's like some bad boy now. He's never talked like this before, never acted like this either. This was a sharp left turn of him.

"Is... what true?" she said. Obviously she knew but with Arnold like this she didn't want to push limits. "You know what." he said fist clenched now clearly angry. Helga was afraid to answer. She knew he'd never hit her but for some reason that was what she was thinking was going to happen. Either that or he'd start a screaming match with her in the middle of lunch. Helga took a big gulp. "Look Arnold-" she began but was interupted by Arnold slamming his fist down on the table. "No Helga you look! Do you know what you've become?! You're doing drugs! Drinking! Stealing! WHAT ELSE!? Why are you doing this?! You have so many people that love you and every day you're just getting closer to the end of their love! Pheobe, Gerald and I care SO MUCH about you! What makes you think this is ok?!" Arnold yelled. On his feet now, hands in the air staring into her eyes. To her it felt like he was burning a hole in her soul with that stare. 'I've disapointed him... there's no way he'd ever love me now. He probably doesn't even want to see me anymore. I'm... sick...' Helga thought.

Helga almost burst into tears. She stood up and ran out of the room. She ran through the doors of the school and began heading towards her house. Tears began to fly out of her eyes and ran down her cheeks. Arnold began after her. She finally caught on and sped up. Curving and twisting, trying to shake him off.

She reached her house and unlocked her door. She flung it open and ran upstairs. She slammed and locked her bedroom door.

"Here we go, welcome to my funeral, without you I don't even have a pulse. All alone it's dark and cold. With every move I die. Here I go, this is my confessional, a lost cause, nobody can save my soul, I am so delusional. With every move I die. I have destroyed our love, it's gone, payback is sick, it's all my fault. I'm dancing with tears in my eyes. Just fighting to get through the night, I'm losing it. With every move I die. I'm fading, I'm broken inside, I've wasted the love of my life, I'm losing it. With every move I die. When did I become such a hypocrite? Double life, lies that you caught me in trust me I'm paying for it. With every move I die. On the floor I'm just a zombie. Who I am is not who I wanna be, I'm such a tragedy. With every move I die. I have destroyed our love, it's gone. Payback is sick, it's all my fault. I'm dancing with tears in my eyes. Just fighting to get through the night, I'm losing it. With every move I die. I'm fading, I'm broken inside, I've wasted the love of my life, I'm losing it. With every move I die. This is it and now you're really gone this time never once thought I'd be in pieces left behind. I'm dancing with tears in my eyes, just fighting to get through the night, I'm losing it. With every move I die, I'm fading, I'm broken inside, I've wasted the love of my life, I'm losing it. With every move I die."

Helga picked up an unopened bottle of pills and some alcohol from her wardrobe. She popped open the bottled and drink when Arnold burst into her room.

"I wish you would step back, from that ledge my friend. You could cut ties with all the lies, that you've been living in and if you do not want to see me again I would understand, I would understand. The angry boy a bit too insane, icing over a secret pain. You know you don't belong. You're the first to fight, you're way too loud, you're the flash of light on a burial shroud, I know something's wrong. Well everyone I know has got a reason to say put the past away. I wish you would step back from that ledge my friend. You could cut ties with all the lies  
that you've been living in and if you do not want to see me again I would understand, I would understand. Well he's on the table and he's gone to code and I do not think anyone knows what they're doing here and your friends have left you, you've been dismissed, I never thought it would come to this and I, I want you to know everyone's got to face down the demons.  
Maybe today you could put the past away. I wish you would step back from that ledge my friend. You could cut ties with all the lies that you've been living in and if you do not want to see me again. I would understand, I would understand. I would understand, I would understand. I would understand, I would understand. Can you put the past away?"

Helga stood there. She sat her pills and drink down.

"One thing I don't know why, it doesn't even matter how hard you try, keep that in mind, I designed this rhyme, to explain in due time. Time is a valuable thing. Watch it fly by as the pendulum swings, watch it count down to the end of the day. The clock ticks life away. Didn't look out below. Watch the time go right out the window, trying to hold on but didn't even know I wasted it all just to watch you go. I kept everything inside and even though I tried, it all fell apart. What it meant to be will eventually be a memory of a time when... I tried so hard and got so far, but in the end it doesn't even matter. I had to fall to lose it all, but in the end it doesn't even matter. One thing, I don't know why, it doesn't even matter how hard you try, keep that in mind, I designed this rhyme to remind myself how I tried so hard, in spite of the way you were mocking me, acting like I was part of your property. Remembering all the times you fought with me? I'm surprised it got so far. Things aren't the way they were before. You wouldn't even recognize me anymore, not that you knew me back then but it all comes back to me in the end. You kept everything inside and even though I tried, it all fell apart. What it meant to me will eventually be a memory of a time when...I tried so hard, and got so far, but in the end it doesn't even matter. I had to fall to lose it all, but in the end it doesn't even matter. I've put my trust in you, pushed as far as I can go, for all this. There's only one thing you should know. I've put my trust in you, pushed as far as I can go, for all this, there's only one thing you should know, I tried so hard and got so far, but in the end it doesn't even matter. I had to fall to lose it all, but in the end it doesn't even matter."

Helga grabbed the pills and drink. "I'm sorry Arnold." She tipped the pill bottle up into her mouth then the alcohol and gulped. Shortly after she fell to the ground, the glass bottle shattered.

***Hey! That. Took. FOREVER! I hoped you liked it, I had to do A LOT of editing. I thought I'd make this and epic chapter so I tried REALLY HARD to make you sit on the edge of your seat. Well review! I'd like to know whatchya think! Well back for the next chapter soon! And as always SAVE THE JUNGLE MOVIE!**


	3. Coma part 1

Arnold was in a panic. 'OH MY GOD! IS SHE OK?! IS SHE ALIVE?! WHERE IS THEIR PHONE?!' Arnold began frantically searching her room for the phone. He squated and his phone fell out of his pocket. He gave himself a face palm and quickly grabbed the phone. He dialled 911 as fast as his fingers could move.

"911 what is your emergancy?" the calm lady asked. "My friend just swallowed a bunch of pills and alcohol in a suicide attempt!" Arnold panted. "Ok sir calmly tell me where you are located." the lady said. Arnold told her the address and she said she was sending help over right now. Arnold began to cry. He was sobbing hard. Thick tears began run down his cheek. He burried his head in his knees. "Oh God please Helga don't die! You can't... you just-" he began to sob again. Not too soon after paramedics came in with a gurney. They slowly lifted Helga up and were gone.

Arnold was at the hospital in the waiting room. He pulled out his phone and called Gerald. Arnold was still sobbing. His eyes were apple read and his cheeks were still wet. Gerald answered happily, he was worried about Arnold earlier. "Hey bro! What's up?" he said cheerfully. "Hey Gerald... Uhm... do I called you... because... I thought... you... could handle... the news... better-" his sobbing became more violent. The waiting room was deserted so his cry just echoed. "Are you crying Arnold? What news? What's going on?" Gerald began questioning. "I'm... at... the hospital... He-" Arnold sobbed hard now. He couldn't even say her name. "Helga... tried... to... kill... herself." He sobbed and sobbed and sobbed. It was the most he had ever cried in his life. He ran out of tears to cry now. It was just dry cries.

Gerald said nothing. I mean what could he say. Him and Helga had became best friends. Helga, Pheobe, Arnold, and him were a tightly knit group now. Helga hadn't talked to any of them over the summer so they had gotten worried about her. Arnold could tell Gerald was trying to hold tears back because he whispered something about telling Pheobe in a soar voice then hung up.

A doctor came out right after the call ended. She sat in the seat across from Arnold. "Sir are you going to be ok?" Arnold grabbed a tissue and wiped his tears and calmed his sobs. "Yes." he whispered. The doctor sat up and looked at the clip bored she had sitting in her lap. "Well Helga is in a coma. She was very fortunate to not have died. It was very suprising to us. She may survive-" Arnold cut her off. His eyes widened. "May?! What does that mean?!" Arnold was scared now. "What I mean by may is she may not come out of her coma. If she doesn't she will die. We will try the best we can but there's not much else we can do sir."


	4. Coma part 2

Arnold sat in silence. What else could he do? If the doctors could do nothing to save her then he will just have to accept it. It was painful for Arnold to think about Helga dying, he had this feeling that just ached in the thought of her going away forever. He wanted to cry more but couldn't, there were no tears left.

The doctor stood up, asked him if he was ok again, and left the waiting room. The waiting room door opened and many rushing feet came in. Arnold looked up. It was all his classmates. He wiped his eyes and tried to calm down. Gerald moved upfront and sat in the soft, blue, chair next to Arnold. He placed his left hand on Arnold's shoulder. "You going to be ok man?" Gerald asked. Arnold dipped his head looking at his knees. He nodded.

After a moment of silece everone sat down and began chattering. Arnold wouldn't tell them she may be in an ireversable coma. He didn't want to bring their moods down, he didn't want them suffering too. No one knew. Everyone was concerned but no one _truely_ knew. Felt his sadness.

Arnold knew there was a chance of survival so he tried to cheer himself up. The waiting rooms' clock hands moved in circles repeatadly. It was now 6:00 p.m. People started pulling out snacks, pop, money, they were getting hungry. No one left. Gerald, Phoebe, and Arnold needed the emotional support so they did not want to leave. Time went on further and before they all knew it, it was already 9 o'clock. The teens brought duffel bags, filled with sleep ware. Some went into the bathroom and changed into their pajamas and pulled out pillows and blankets. Everyone was staying home from school.

They all knew it was going to be a long wait.

***It was short but here you go. There are going to be a couple of parts to this chapter, consider all of these chapters together one super chapter! Sorry if I made Arnold sound like depressed, it's hard for me to write emotions, I don't know hehe :P well I hope you like it! I will start on the next chapter asap! I have volleyball practice Wednesday and a game Thursday so I won't be on for a while. Wow this is a long note, I guess I'll stop ranting, see you soon! STJM!**


	5. Coma part 3

*******So before I start I would like to address a comment I received on my first chapter. Now I don't know if this person was kidding or not but I do not appreciate it. I believe it was rude and just pointless to comment. I'm not going to say the exact comment but It was about "I hate you for writing this chapter like that." excuse me but I am not forcing you to read this and you didn't have to comment in such a way. As you know I am a person too. No one should talk to another person like that. Get off this site! There are many fanfictions like this! Since when has it been ok to say stuff like that? This person is an anonymous account so I can not report the comment. Personally I don't think you should be able to be 'anonymous', if you are reading this please do not comment again, don't even read this story anymore. I came to this site to write and if you don't like it, leave.*******

The sun rose the next day. Arnold was the only person who awoke. His neck ached from the position he'd been sleeping in. He sat up and stretched. He almost forgot where he was. Arnold was at the hospital, waiting for Helga to wake up. He shot up and looked around. Everyone was still out cold. Arnold wanted to visit Helga as soon as he could. He walked up to the front desk and the woman in the pastel pink scrubs looked up from her magazine. "Do you need something sir?" she tried to sound cheerful but Arnold could tell she could honestly care less. "Yes I was wondering if anyone was able to visit Helga Pataki yet." Arnold said. He felt quite weird. Like an embarresed weird. The lady stood, sloppily turning around to go talk to the doctors. Minutes later the doctor Arnold had talk to last night returned. "Hello Arnold!" she said happily. Arnold raised his hand, not wanting to speak to much. "Well I hear you want to visit miss Pataki." Arnold lazily nodded. "Well she is stablized and able to visit. She's in room 129 just through that door." She pointed to the door by his sleeping classmates.

"Thanks." He said and he turned toward the door. He looked at his friends, fast asleep. He debated waking them up. No. He couldn't controll his feelings alone, absolutely not his friends. He slid around the teens and went through the door. Right as he walked through, there was her room. Arnold walked up and grasped the handle. He took a deep breath and pushed open the door. There she was. Laying on the snowy white hospital bed. Wired hooked everywhere. Arnold could hear her heart beat. At least she was alive. He slowly stepped up to Helga. Her beautiful blonde hair spread all over the pillow shined in the morning sunlight. She was breath taking, well despite all of the wires on her arms and face.

He gripped the side of the bed. "Well, I know the feeling  
Of finding yourself stuck out on the ledge  
And there ain't no healing  
From cutting yourself with the jagged edge  
I'm telling you that, it's never that bad  
Take it from someone who's been where you're at  
Laid out on the floor and you're not sure you can take this So just give it one more try to a lullaby And turn this up on the radio If you can hear me now I'm reaching out To let you know that you're not alone And if you can't tell, I'm scared as hell Cause I can't get you on the telephone  
So just close your eyes Oh, honey here comes a lullaby Your very own lullaby Please let me take you Out of the darkness and into the light 'Cause I have faith in you That you're gonna make it through another night Stop thinking about the easy way out There's no need to go and blow the candle out Because you're not done You're far too young And the best is yet to come so just give it one more try to a lullaby And turn this up on the radio If you can hear me now I'm reaching out To let you know that you're not alone And if you can't tell, I'm scared as hell 'Cause I can't get you on the telephone So just close your eyes Oh, honey here comes a lullaby Your very own lullaby Well, everybody's hit the bottom Everybody's been forgotten When everybody's tired of being alone Yeah, everybody's been abandoned And left a little empty handed So if you're out there barely hanging on... Just give it one more try to a lullaby And turn this up on the radio If you can hear me now I'm reaching out To let you know that you're not alone And if you can't tell, I'm scared as hell 'Cause I can't get you on the telephone So just close your eyes Oh, honey here comes a lullaby Your very own lullaby Oh, honey here comes a lullaby Your very own lullaby " Arnold backed up. He took one last look at her and left the room.

Helga maybe in a coma but that doesn't mean she didn't hear Arnold. She knew who it was by the sound of his voice. She wanted to wake up so bad.

'How can you see into my eyes like open doors, leading you down into my core, where I've become so numb. Without a soul, my spirit's sleeping somewhere cold. Until you find it there and lead it back home. Wake me up, wake me up inside. I can't wake up, wake me up inside, save me. Call my name and save me from the dark. Wake me up, bid my blood to run, I can't wake up before I come undone. Save me, save me from the nothing I've become. Now that I know what I'm without, you can't just leave me. Breathe into me and make me real, bring me to life. Wake me up, wake me up inside. I can't wake up, wake me up inside, save me. Call my name and save me from the dark. Wake me up, bid my blood to run, I can't wake up before I come undone. Save me, save me from the nothing I've become. Bring me to life, I've been living a lie, there's nothing inside. Bring me to life. Frozen inside without your touch, without your love daring, only you are the life among the dead.'

(Arnold)"All of this sight, I can't believe I couldn't see, kept in the dark but you were there in front of me."

'I've been sleeping a thousand years it seems, got to open my eyes to everything. Without a thought, without a voice, without a soul, don't let me die here. There must be something more, bring me to life. Wake me up, wake me up inside. I can't wake up, wake me up inside, save me. Call my name and save me from the dark. Wake me up, bid my blood to run, I can't wake up before I come undone. Save me, save me from the nothing I've become. Bring me to life, I've been living a lie, there's nothing inside. Bring me to life.'

***So here you peoples go! I am sooooo excited for what's next. I MUSN'T TELL! So I hope that you like it and that I won't see anymore comments like the one I mentioned earlier, they aren't necessary. Oooooh I wish I could just post what was next (Jumpin) eeek! Okie see you soon! STJM!***


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